Blog

Reincarnation

2019-07-15 

I don’t have a link to it, but I remember reading about how some people essentially “reinvent” themselves multiple times over the course of their lives. They are constantly learning new things and switch careers to some other focus every decade or so, in an attempt to live a rich, varied life free of stagnation.

An interesting idea, if you can pull it off. After all, typically, people are married and have a family to take care of. And if not for a family, one’s own finances need to be secure.

Now, I’m not planning on quitting my job any time soon, mind you (I love it quite a bit), but I think the basic idea could at least be applied to one’s hobbies…

Since I was in high school in the 90s, I’ve always had a thick interest in game development. Skipping past the boring self-analysis, I came close to doing it professionally a couple times in the last decade, but otherwise it’s mostly stayed a hobby. But it was one I actively participated in during my off hours… I could cite various reasons, but suffice it to say that despite my dreams of ‘going pro’, it never took off.

Other, recent events have soured the milk on game development even further. It was probably for the best, though. All it ever did was remind me of unfinished projects, and planning for a future that wasn’t going to exist. Never mind the increasing number of horror stories from inside the industry, as people begin to feel safe about opening up about corporate abuse and general misery.

So, over the last couple months I’ve decided to pack up my game development hobby and put it into a little box in the closet. Sure, I’ll still keep tabs on industry news and people’s fun indie projects and stuff, but it’s no longer a primary interest.

What will fill the void?

Well, over the last couple years I’ve been, off and on, attending the B-Sides information security conferences along the east coast. I always had fun, but felt a bit weird going to them. It wasn’t my field. I felt like an outsider, even though it was stuff I could potentially apply to my day job. But as time went on, the wheels of further interest started turning…

Network security has always been a major weak point in my computer education. Compiler internals, hardware, software development? Sure, I love that stuff. But network administration? Server security? Subnet masks? OSI layers? I’ve had, more or less, only a scattered, surface level understanding. (No worries — I had a good handle on what to do, and what not to do, when it comes to security when working on software projects, so no worries there at least …mostly. I mean, as far as I know. Oh god, now I’m paranoid.)

So, I’ve been taking courses. I’m going all-in on educating myself about all of it. Taking part in CTF challenges. Pentesting my own internal network. Breaking into vulnerable virtual machines. (Already taught me a ton about WordPress security. Cough.) And I’ve been taking extensive notes as I go.

And you know what? I’m addicted. This is seriously fulfilling stuff. And my interest has only increased the further in I get. It’s like an infinite box of puzzles that keeps my brain active.

So now I have a primary hobby that is not only good for me, good for helping others, but also helps my day job.

I don’t want to say it’s goodbye forever to game development, but it’s going to be a long time, if ever, before that flame is reignited. And hey, maybe I’ll write up some more educational stuff here and there to help others, like me, along the way. I’d be down for that. 😎

This, of course, applies to almost everything divisive…

2018-08-19 

Surely there’s a balance between the suffocation of extreme political correctness and being a crude, self-important jerk who lacks compassion.

Finding that balance requires a nimble nuance few seem willing to engage the issues with. It’s either all or nothing, whichever way you happen to swing.

And the sheer aggressive, pigheadedness of the majority of the opposing side (whichever it is), and the strong desire to throw a wrench in their mechanisms, all but forever guarantees a wide gulf between ideologies.

Last Walk in Clinton

2015-03-23 

I went for what will probably be my last walk around downtown Clinton, tonight.

Cold and crisp, but surprisingly hospitable considering the temperature.

As always, folks were hanging out over at the Driftwood (or whatever it’s called nowadays). People playing pool. Having fun. Never took the time to drop in and check it out. Bars aren’t really my thing. Wish they were. Feel like I’m missing out.

Lots of cars and people leaving the Town Hall. Probably had a play tonight. Or a rehearsal for one.

I sat on the bench between the church and the Stanton House for a bit, and looked around. Watched cars go by. Nice little quiet spot in the dark, just me in my black pea coat, black Punisher winter cap, and scarf.

Sigh.

I’m going to really miss this town, and the CT shoreline area.

Clinton, Westbrook, Saybrook, Madison, Guilford… they’ve been such a large part of me and my identity, for over three decades.

I grew up here. The shoreline the well-worn groove in a comfortable couch. It’s all I’ve known. It’s ME. But you know? I need to let it go. The world moved on… and I didn’t. At this point, I figure I’m long overdue.

So, tomorrow afternoon, this unusually thick chapter will come to an end… and a new one will begin.

I am… cautiously optimistic.

Concerning Shatner’s Charity Commitment vs Attending Nimoy’s Funeral

2015-03-01 

Couple thoughts.

Look, I know how it’s important to US, as fans of the Star Trek franchise, for him to attend Nimoy’s funeral… but when you get down to it, this is a REALLY personal thing. Nobody has a right to tell another person how or when to pay their respects.

Myself, I have never attended a funeral, and I don’t expect to do so…ever. Not because they’re meaningless to me, or because I’m insensitive. I just choose not to stand on ceremony and grieve in public. I absolutely MUST deal with these things in private. If you ever gave ME shit about it at a very vulnerable time, like some of Shatner’s fans are on Twitter, they’d probably be putting TWO people in the ground. 😛

I’m not suggesting that’s what Shatner is dealing with. We don’t actually KNOW what his true feelings and motivations are. I’m saying don’t put so much weight on being physically present somewhere in order to pay your respects.

…

That said, there’s another angle to this that I don’t think many people really think about.

Personally, I never got the impression that Nimoy and Shatner were quite as like-family close as we’d all like to imagine. Undeniably, they have a famous, shared history, and they seemed to get along well.

But, behind the scenes, who’s to say Leonard wasn’t just this guy he worked a lot with over the years and occasionally meets up with to promote stuff together?

Being at his funeral might not be as important for him, personally, as it is for US. If that’s the case, that disappointment is ours to bear, not his. That’s not to say it won’t be a terrible PR move. He’ll definitely catch shit from his audience over it, if that’s how things really are for Bill.

Anyway, the guy tried to get head of the wave by admitting his inability to attend via Twitter, and tried his best to improvise, staging a virtual memorial through his account.

There’s not really much more you can ask, except for us to just move on.