fortyseven

Review – The Prisoner (1967)

2022-04-13 

I’ve mentioned this show before, but I figured I’d tackle the whole series here in this one post.

Let me tell you: The Prisoner is a truly incredible show. Don’t sleep on it. In fact, consider it required viewing.

It’s a thorough mind-fuck of a war between unstoppable forces and the immovable object. It’s the grand-daddy of many a subsequent TV show’s mysteries, most notably there’s an obvious influence on LOST. At least to me. Though that show went down a different path, the basic kernel of mystery and raw “is this really happening” fuckery is unmistakable to me.

A quick refresher: our protagonist is an ex-spook who angrily shows up one day and and retires from the job with a tea-cup smashing slam of his fist on the desk.

His head full of secrets, valuable to both ‘sides’, he’s gassed in his own home and wakes up in The Village — a small microcosm of a perfect community where people are issued numbers instead of using their names. Escape is made nigh impossible, enforced by a gang of thugs and a bizarre (sentient…?) white ball that smothers people to death.

The people running The Village, headed by the ever-changing form of No.2, just want to know: why did you resign?

No.6, as he’s labelled, not knowing which side his captors are on, refuses to answer the question. He’s valuable to whoever is running the show, so they’ll do everything short of physical torture to try and break him. The various ways in which they attempt to pry this information from him in each episode is quite impressive, and imaginative. And often downright cruel.

I’ll include a brief synopsis (via Wikipedia) as a refresher and talk a bit about each one.

Oh, and uh, it goes without saying but: _spoilers._

And these were watched in the order Shout Factory put them in. I recognize and even noticed that some episodes feel out of order — Dance of the Dead, most notably, suggests No.6 has ‘just arrived’.

There’s a recommended fan-authored viewing order that, in retrospect, I might have followed. But what’s done is done…

…about half way through the series run I started keeping realtime observations and commentary as I watched each episode. I circled back afterward and made some quick notes on a speedy rewatch of the first six, but they’re nowhere near as detailed.

Anyway, onward…

Ep. 1 – Arrival

After waking up in the Village and discovering his captivity there, No.6 encounters a friend from the outside who may have a possible escape.

They really pull out all the stops for the first episode — the sheer wall to wall insanity at times is impressive. The series doesn’t quite put the pedal down quite like it does here, going forward, but that’s a good thing.

If you watch this and enjoy it, yeah, it’s safe to say you’ll be all set for the rest of the series.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • BLACK BADGE ALERT:
    • The very first person we meet, a lady at the local cafe, is wearing a black badge. (124? 104?)
    • A taxi driver later has a black badge as well.
    • The girl in the pink bikini that slides by No.6 by the bridge has one.
  • Places listed in the directory, in order of listing:
    • fun palace
    • hospital
    • shop
    • taxi rank
    • council
    • bandstand
    • exchange
    • town hall
    • old people
    • old ship
    • advisory (advice?)
  • Funny how good this episode looks compared to later eps. Much more on-location, versus stages with phony recreations of the location set.
  • No.6’s taxi trip costs “2 units”.
  • The map is labelled “Your Village”, versus “The Village” as we usually refer to it.
  • No.6’s time of birth: 4:31am, 1928-03-19.
  • Nobody asks if ROVER is okay. 🙁
  • The hot pink room looks like an album cover.
  • The doctor says No.6’s clothes have been burned and doesn’t offer a reason why. (Which either contradicts the finale, or is a lie.)
  • A guy at the end of the hallway is bald, staring at what appears to be a tiny, ping-pong ball sized Rover, while spouting gibberish. (“Oh, he’s coming along nicely!”)
  • We never do see the “electro-pass” again.
  • I enjoy that they give him this elaborate phony escape opportunity just to prove how futile it is to even try.
  • “We’re all pawns, m’dear!”

Ep 2 – The Chimes of Big Ben

A new prisoner, Nadia, may have information about the Village that makes an escape attempt possible.


You might think that it’s a bit early in the run to have him escape all the way back home, being only the second episode. But I choose to see it as a show of power: look at how convincing a fake they can create. How far you think you’ve gotten — yet every single step along the journey was artificial.

But then there’s the whole thing where the series is probably being shown out of order, but let’s take the wins where we can.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • “Escape, come back, wipe this place off the face of the Earth, obliterate it… and you with it.”
  • I love how shocked No.2 is when No.6 puts sugar in his drink.
  • Not only is Leo McKern the best No.2, but he ends up part of the finale as well. Great choice.
  • Genuine non-alcoholic whiskey: 24 work units. Genuine non-alcoholic vodka: 16 work units.
  • Direct TV range: 2 miles. After that? Radar.
  • We see three Rovers in this episode at once — one large one, and two small ones helping drag the escaping woman back.
  • The art exhibition with all the Leo McKern art is amazing.
  • A Rover gets sniped at from shore, and this seemingly deters it. Or it’s just part of the act.
  • No.6 when asked where The Village is replies: “Lithuania, on the Baltic, 30 miles from the Polish border”.
  • “Why DID you resign?” “It was a matter of conscience!”, later he begins to explain “…for a very long time…”

Ep 3 – A. B. and C.

A desperate No.2 manipulates No.6’s dreams to discover where his loyalties lie.


An interesting exploration using “what would No.6 have done” to figure out his loyalties. Fun watching No.2 sweat in fear of the big red phone, too.

⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • My second favorite No.2, Colin Gordon!
  • “A” looks a hell of a lot like Pedro Pascal.
  • The Feb 10th “The Tally Ho” headline reads, “Is No.2 Fit For Future Term?”
  • “B”‘s mouth is HUGE. Like Steven Tyler.
  • “Be seeing you!” “NO! I’ll be seeing YOU.”

Ep 4 – Free for All

Presented with the opportunity, No.6 runs for election to the post of No.2.


This isn’t the weakest episode of the series, but for some reason I found myself struggling to pay attention. Just a mind-fuck to screw with him. What else is new?

⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • BLACK BADGE WATCH:
  • Several people in the election crowd in town can be seen wearing them in the background.
  • The serving girl has a black badge later in the episode. (No.265)
  • The thugs that rise out of the floor to tackle No.6 have them.
  • No.2 mentions No.6 is “new here”, suggesting this is an earlier episode.
  • The newspaper turns every “no comment” into a full on response. The paper’s headline even reads “No.6 Speaks His Mind”.
  • Random boat fight!
  • This No.2 says “to hell with The Village” when asked if he doesn’t approve.
  • She’s using the Three Stooges technique: “Push Buttons!”
  • Just a bunch of guys in cave, wearing sunglasses, sitting in a circle around Rover. Totally normal.
  • “Give my regards to the homeland.” – a totally normal thing for someone to say.

Ep 5 – The Schizoid Man

No.2 replaces No.6 with an identical duplicate (played by McGoohan) to weaken the real Six’s sense of identity.


This was so damned good. There was even a moment or two where even I was questioning the real No.6’s authenticity. But what’s really great is that they go the extra mile in the last third of the story to turn The Village’s plan to break him, into an escape attempt. If No.6 didn’t botch a bit of personal information, he might have genuinely escaped. (Well… I thought that way until “Many Happy Returns”, at least.)

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • Whoa, one of the very few people on the show who isn’t white!
  • Clever using the thumbnail bruise to sus out the scam.
  • The password is “gemini”.
  • Some of the split-screen here is pretty good. Especially for the era.
  • I can’t believe they moved his fucking mole.
  • This No.2 is more like a game show host.
  • Making the little guy give you a massage, dude? Weird.
  • It always looks like Rover is humping people to death.
  • No.6 pushes it way too hard in his “Curtis” disguise. He fucks up. He could have been scot-free.
  • Next time you see a calendar so obviously out in the open like that, you let me know.

Ep 6 – The General

An important prisoner’s new speed-teaching machine can be used to indoctrinate everyone into believing the same thing, posing perhaps the greatest threat to No.6’s independence.


A classic Trek story: secret hidden intelligence turns out to be a computer. Damned well-done story, though. Three years of education in 3 minutes! I enjoyed it despite not just borrowing a Trek “computer god” cliche but also defeating it with the usual “tainted data input” that causes the machine to eat itself.

This episode made me lose a whole Saturday investigating the Professor’s typewritten manuscripts.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Quick Re-watch Observations

  • No.6 undercover!
  • Using “thing boxes” to accept the security token is… inspired?
  • No.6 gets a little sloppy in the projection room.
  • That’s a slightly modified Xerox 660 desktop copier that the manuscripts are being fed into.

Ep 7 – Many Happy Returns

After waking to find the Village deserted, No.6 returns to England, but he does not know whom he can trust there.


After seeing how far No.6 got in The Chimes of Big Ben you’d be forgiven for spending most of the episode waiting for the other shoe to drop. The journey he takes, making a raft, getting picked up by gun-runners, and stowing away in a truck on the way to England makes for an impressive episode, with very little dialogue for half the episode.

What’s interesting here is that he really DID escape, and he was able to get information about The Village to his associates. Even locating it somewhere off the coast of Morocco before being cruelly jettisoned back into The Village by the end.

This one was a delight and it really kept me guessing. But what’s interesting here is that No.6 did make contact, he did reveal what happened to himself, he did give them a general idea of where he was being kept, and they weren’t in on it. And none of that was undone or otherwise subverted by the end. An interesting choice.

In theory, in light of this, a rescue mission should not out of the question. Though that’s never alluded to during the episode.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • BLACK BADGE WATCH: No.2 wears a rare black badge.

Ep 8 – Dance of the Dead

No.6 tries to save an old friend who is headed for destruction at the hands of the Village.


Maybe the worst episode so far? Only the pure grit of Mary Morris’ performance as this installment’s No.2 keeps this one interesting. She’s a bit over the top at times, especially looking into the camera cackling madly before the credits roll. But still, she’s quite memorable.

It’s recommended that this be seen as the second episode of the series, and the events and dialog that go with it, seem to concur. The episode has elements that either got dropped or at least not explicitly stated before (No.6 being assigned an ‘observer’ for example).

The episode seems more of a showcase for insanity, and an attempt at cementing No.6’s fate.

Realtime Observations:

  • BLACK BADGE WATCH: No.240 wears a rare black badge.

Ep 9 – Checkmate

No.6 thinks he has a means to tell the prisoners from the wardens.


Another one that feels like an early episode. Probably even right after Dance of the Dead. More “getting to know” the island. Prisoners vs guardians.

A weak escape attempt considering Six SURELY must know even stepping foot on British soil doesn’t mean he’ll actually have escaped. Actually escaping from The Village doesn’t mean you’re free.

But it’s hard to be fair about the show’s intentions considering the actual order of them is up for interpretation. There’s a low-level of continuity, but even that’s scrambled a bit.

Mediocre episode, but the “Battle Chess” theme in the first quarter is fun.

⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • No.2 has quite a bit of makeup on. He also engages in martial arts. Alone.
  • BLACK BADGE WATCH: opposing ‘human chess’ player had one, and so did the gardener who 6 deduces is a ‘guardian’.
  • The Village is certainly at no loss for caucasians. Makes dialog like “You have to learn to distinguish between the blacks and the whites” a bit ominous.
  • The ship at the end is the SAME BOAT set that the “gun runners” had in Many Happy Returns; even some of the same fighting moves and locations are reused. Cut footage pressed into service?

Ep 10 – Hammer into Anvil

No.6 takes revenge on a sadistic No.2 for the death of another prisoner.


Yet again, this one feels like an early episode…. though the plot could easily have made for a fine penultimate episode. No.6 turns the tables on the new No.2, stoking his paranoid tendencies, making him afraid of everyone around him until he finally breaks, calling in for a new No.2 to replace himself. That’s crazy.

I wasn’t sure about this No.2 — he was intense out of the gate, and physical, actually striking No.6. Something we’ve never seen before. 2’s are usually hands-off masterminds kind of characters. But seeing him slowly lose his grip and spiral out of control was incredible.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • This No.2 is way too intense. He even physically strikes No.6. The guy ends up unhinged in a way I’ve never seen a No.2 before. We’ve never seen a No.2’s authority upended so thoroughly, either. Totally played.
  • No.6 spends 2 units on the “Tally Ho” newspaper.
    • Nine words in the classifieds is 3 units.
    • A cuckoo clock costs 42 units.
  • BLACK BADGE ALERT:
    • The store keep wears a black 112 badge.
    • The guy in yellow and the tuba player both clearly sport black badges.
    • The band master also has one (252?)
  • No.6’s note about No.2’s instability is signed by him as “D.6.”
  • Funny how the automatic doors seem to have an instinct about when to open or close.
  • The Xerox 660 returns! Last seen in The General.
  • This is great, turning the tables on No.2 and his paranoia.
  • They’re doing personalized messages on The Village’s in-house radio station? From inside their operations center?
  • No.113 doesn’t exist. She died a month ago.
  • 20, 60, 40, 47, 67, 81, 91, 80
  • Tracking a pigeon by radar!
  • Wow, we just skipped right over actually seeing the “beam” fire.

Ep 11 – It’s Your Funeral

To save the Village from calamitous consequences, No.6 must intervene in a Village power struggle and prevent the assassination of the retiring No.2 by his successor.


Definitely one of the weaker entries. An interesting premise, pitting one No.2 against another, but it struggles to keep it interesting. It even devotes over 3 minutes to a phony sport supposedly invented by Patrick McGoohan himself.

⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • BLACK BADGE ALERT:
    • Immediately get our first black badge within seconds of the titles: 50.
    • “Plan Division Q” guy in pink jacket has a black 100 badge.
  • We see the Kosho… set… again. Though this feels like the first time we’re seeing it — another out-of-order mixup? And wow, the scene just kind of goes on for a while… 17:30 to 20:45… hashtag filler.
  • This basically addresses why No.6 doesn’t just resort to violence when he’s had the opportunity.
  • This may be my least favorite No.2. He looks like some eccentric, B-grade Arch Hall Jr., which wouldn’t matter so much if he wasn’t just very so boring. The whole episode just has this weird drag to it.

Ep 12 – A Change of Mind

No.2 stirs the Village to ostracize No.6, and then takes even more drastic measures to cure Six’s “unmutuality”.


Another episode where the tables are turned on the current No.2. It feels like a bit of a cop-out that they didn’t actually do the full “social conversion” on him, but considering it’s a weekly TV series, we can’t do TOO much harm to our protag.

⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • We get a good look at the wilderness gym No.6 created for himself; while it was seen in prior episodes in this particular viewing order, the dialog suggests this is it’s debut.
  • The new No.2 is a sexist and a glutton. Not my least favorite, but nearing the bottom. Ask me again later; I may change my mind.
  • Oh man, No.6 is LOVING this… disharmoniousness. 😉
  • BLACK BADGE ALERT:
    • #62, undergoing “aversion therapy” sports a black badge.
  • Speaking of the “aversion therapy” room, it appears the contents of the room aren’t hot pink as it seemed Arrival, just the circular glass in the window.
  • These people are absolutely mindless monsters. I think some of the might have been voters in the US in 2016. 🤔
  • On one hand, it’s a bit silly that No.6 can pull a skill like hypnotism out of his ass, but we don’t really know WHAT he was into before he resigned, so I guess anything is fair play.
  • There are some VERY obvious stages with fake backgrounds here, but they look pretty good. Not too distracting.
  • “The butcher with the sharpest knife, has the warmest heart.” — egad.

Ep 13 – Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling

Deprived of his memory and placed in another man’s body, No.6 travels back to England to seek a missing scientist. Nigel Stock portrays Six for most of this episode.


One of the more daring, fantastical sci-fi plots, the Wikipedia summary spells it all out. An interesting premise, with a different actor playing No.6 for the entire episode.

Another story where No.6 is literally back home on British soil, yet he’s not really free. We get a peek into some of his personal details, too.

This might be my second or third favorite post-Arrival episode, but by far the least interesting No.2, existing only to get hornswoggled in the end by an elderly white man.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations:

  • Whoa, this one starts out with a brief scene at the start. And the title sequence doesn’t include the usual threats from the episode’s No.2. This is unprecedented. 😀
  • Also, this episode was not uploaded in HD. 😐
  • Nice toupee, No.2.
  • No.6 just pacing back and forth alone in his room.
  • Oh shit, just straight up bringing in the MPs to drag him in. No agency for No.6 today.
  • Reminds me of the transporter machine that Dr. Kleiner had in HL2. (“What cat…?”)
  • We get a look at what a “The Prisoner” FPS would be like.
  • Whoa, flashbacks from prior episodes. That’ll fit well into anyone’s ‘recommended viewing’ guide. Actually seeing scenes we haven’t seen yet in the current viewing order.
  • It’s been a year.
  • His car has his theme music, unmistakable who’s driving.
  • Holy shit, they’ve recreated the intro with the body swap. That’s amazing.
  • No.6’s code names: in France, “Duval”. In Germany, “Schmidt”. But you’d best know him as “Z.M.73”.
  • His bosses code is P.R.12.
  • This is neat; we’re hearing No.6’s voice as he walks around in this new body.
  • She’s just cool with believing he’s mind-swapped, eh? I mean I saw the scene, but it still seems difficult to believe.
  • He’s taking a blue screen tour of Europe!
  • I was going to criticize No.6 for driving around in his signature car, but they have a tracking device on him anyway. (But he does’t know that yet…)
  • Big assumption on No.6’s part that his current host body could fight as good as he does.
  • No.2’s actor slightly flubbed his line and they kept it in.
  • Oooh, I bet I know how this will end. Obviously No.6 is restored, but the doctor’s mind will go into the one he was inhabiting the whole episode. That’s how he’ll escape.
  • I was right. But not disappointed. It’s a great ending.
  • But also, they had EVERY opportunity to grab the Colonel before he got on the chopper. Ordinarily they control every inch of the universe around The Village, but they can’t radio the chopper to return? What the fuck? 😀

Ep 14 – Living in Harmony

In an Old West setting, a lawman who resigned is trapped in a town called Harmony where the Judge wants him to be the new sheriff – by hook or by crook.


This one goes right off the rails immediately. If you didn’t know the actor and the typeface on the episode title and minimal credits, you’d never know this was an episode of The Prisoner and just assume it was some random western.

An interesting premise: kind of a microcosm of the entire series, but in Western form. Unfortunately the actual plot is so thin that it has trouble filling the hour without long drawn out stretches of scenes, and all the fist-fights allowed by law. But when you get down to it, this is basically The Girl In Lover’s Lane crossed with vaguest suggestion of The Prisoner, Westworld, and every other generic western.

The ending takes a twist, but with more of an unsatisfying “What the fuck was THAT?” whimper, rather than a real doozy of an angle.

Anyway, I bet if I looked we could find some other shows around the same time using the same Western sets. They’re elaborate, damned good looking TV sets. I can’t believe they’d have been erected just for one novelty episode… probably just heard of the opportunity and slapped together a quick script to take advantage of them. If not, it sure feels like it.

Sigh. Well, nobody can accuse The Prisoner of not having a large variety of settings to keep things fresh. It just doesn’t always work.

EDIT: Turns out this episode was quite literally filler.

⭐⭐

Realtime Observations

  • Another episode with an intro before the opening titles.
  • No.6 in Westworld!
  • The traditional pre-titles cowboy fistfight.
  • “I turned in my badge and my gun.” “For what reasons?” Aaaah, I get where this is goin’. Alright.
  • Christ this is a slog.
  • She rescues him from jail. He’ll rescue her from jail. Just an endless cycle.
  • I had to put this on at 2x in some spots. It’s just drags on so, so, so, so, much.
  • “I agreed to wear the badge, but not the gun.”
  • OH MY GOD THIS ISN’T EVEN HALF OVER. It’s just more fist fights, too.
  • I feel like “The Kid” could be played better by Jack Elam.
  • “I knew it wouldn’t work!” — lawwwl
  • Holy shit, I didn’t expect that ending!
  • Wait, she’s DEAD?
  • Holy shit, is everyone on drugs?!

Ep 15 – The Girl Who Was Death

No.6 avoids the assassination attempts of a beautiful woman while foiling the plots of her megalomaniac father.

I bet there’s a dozen versions of this on eBay.


This one is… I can’t help but describe it as a drug-fueled over-indulgence. Like a 50 minute long music video.

It just hits the ground running and forces you to piece together things as it goes along. Except none of that matters, since none of this happened because it’s stories he invented for children…?!

Ambitious… The Prisoner certainly takes some big swings, and it usually hits it out of the park. Being that this and Living in Harmony were among the final episodes filmed, it might admittedly be premature to think that maybe it’s best there wasn’t a second season. This just feels like desperation to do something different.

Up until the last quarter I was actually enjoying the inventiveness and creativity put into the whole thing. I LOVE the ‘poisoned’ shot glass and the creative use of the rear projection screen during the driving sequence, for instance.

But once it gets to the Napoleon stuff, and the reveal at the end… eeh.

This was like one of those episodes of Bob’s Burgers where the kids all tell different stories, and that’s the WHOLE episode. Same idea. More or less.

⭐⭐

Realtime Observations

  • Back to a proper intro.
  • They didn’t show us the No.2. And it’s using the generic voice many of these use. Hmm.
  • Oh, No.6 is back home again. …?!
  • Bangin’ tunes at the record shop.
  • Doing some traditional spy shit. Another drug-induced fantasy?
  • YOU HAVE JUST BEEN POISONED. That is some fantastic merch.
  • No.6 has just said “fuck it” and is getting wasted on everything ever made.
  • Now he’s shifted into a Sherlock Holmes persona. This is clearly some mental trip at this point.
  • That’s not Sherlock Holmes, that’s Sir Digby Chicken Caesar!
  • This is a really amazing, ambitious episode. A real cracker of a mind-fuck, even if nothing other than that is going on.
  • Did… did they just recycle the Western set from Living in Harmony?
  • Sure, just waste that ammo, 6.
  • VERY clever cyanide gas escape.
  • “Wee!”
  • This is structured so weirdly. Each commercial break is a flip of the page to some new fantasy.
  • Oh horseshit, McGoohan is NOT singing. 😆
  • This is descending into Batman ’66 levels of hijinx. Not in a good way.
  • If you like hot stuffing files into a bag action, boy do we have several minutes for YOU.
  • HOLY SHIT that whole lighthouse model exploded.
  • You are fucking kidding me with this ending. I… don’t know what to say about that.

Ep 16 – Once Upon a Time

No.2 subjects No.6 to “Degree Absolute”, a desperate, last-ditch effort to subdue him – an ordeal that will not end until it breaks one of them.


Hooooooly shit. Was this the Infinity War to the series finale’s Endgame? This was crazy intense. I mean, wow. These two just going off into a bizarro psychological showdown. A lot of screaming. This feels like an episode that if they knew about it, they’d never have given these guys money to make this series. And I love it.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations

  • It’s him! He’s back! Leo McKern is a favorite.
  • No.6 is doing his pace-eating again.
  • Getting a replay of the series up to this point on the projector. The good parts, at least.
  • This is sounding serious.
  • Gettin’ weird again.
  • “Want to go walkies?” — a) that’s hilarious, and b) I thought that was a modern expression. Clearly not.
  • This is a whole weird scene, man.
  • This episode is just full of iconic imagery.
  • “I’m beginning to like him.”
  • There’s an amazing amount of shouting in this episode.
  • This almost feels like an early Q episode of TNG in some ways.
  • The episode’s freaky nature and non-stop WTF’s-a-minute makes even The Girl Who Was Death look pedestrian by comparison.
  • A really special episode. These two are acting their asses off. A real powerhouse.
  • Taking him to No.1?! NEXT WEEK?!!

Ep 17 – Fall Out

No.6 encounters the forces in charge of The Village, but can he finally escape?


You know that last week of school before Summer where you’re obviously done with school, and the teachers stop trying, and it just devolves into skipping classes and generally screwing around, getting away with anything until the bus comes at the end of the day?

That’s the series finale of The Prisoner. It decomposes into a crazy, unhinged, strange, abstract art piece.

I don’t know if it was good television, but it was one hell of a show.

And it conclusively ended.

With some minor asterisks.

It’s a shame that it spiraled out like this. A large part of really appeals about the show’s basic premise was that it was the usual “out there” super-spy stuff, but it was grounded. More or less. Mind swapping machines notwithstanding. Instead of an ending that suits that ‘groundedness’, it quite literally takes off into orbit.

Frankly, I’d rather have had it be open-ended without a conclusion (which I’d feared), than go out the way it did.

Bit of a monkey’s paw wish seeing a proper finale, I suppose.

Hell of a ride, though. 🥃

EDIT: This was apparently a rocky, last minute scramble to assemble a finale. It’s kind of impressively weird in it’s own right given those conditions. Supposedly McGoohan had to “go into hiding in the mountains for two weeks, until things calmed down”. I kind of believe that. 😉

⭐⭐⭐

Realtime Observations

  • This is clearly a part 2 to last week’s Once Upon a Time. We get a (very lengthy) recap of it here at the opening, for the first time ever.
  • Abbreviated intro titles. Very different. I’ve never noticed them give credit to The Hotel Portmeirion before. (That’s the real-life location that played the part of The Village.)
  • Written and Directed by Patrick McGoohan
  • Giving him his old suit back?!
  • Loooove, looove, loooove…. wow, they got the real song. Must have blew a chunk of the budget on that.
  • WELL. COME.
  • This is like a Bond villain’s basement.
  • This just got REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL freaky.
  • Oh no, it’s the psychotic kid from the Western episode. (No.48)
  • Oh shit, the barrister is the No.2 from that, too. I think.
  • This just feels like McGoohan taking a break while everyone else just freaks out around him.
  • Is the computer with the “1” on it No.1? Is this like The General? I hope not.
  • This is just off the rails stream-of-consciousness improv horseshit. What in the absolute hell.
  • It’s tedious. With bizarrely licesned music.
  • Yeah, I get it, you’re random. For fucks sake.
  • So I guess the idea is to make No.6 “the man” and presenting him with rebellious stand-ins?
  • Very clear commercial breaks, I’m noticing.
  • Oh god, No.2 with a haircut is a terrible sight. What a shame.
  • So this No.2 was abducted, too?
  • AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE, AYE.
  • So this is what it’s like for Mario in the pipes.
  • ORBIT 48. ORBIT 2. …?!
  • So much for my theory that he’s unwilling to kill. (Just really hurt people. Like Batman.) This just turned into a shootout.
  • A shootout with The Beatles in the background.
  • Oh yeah, remember The Village? Remember them?
  • Faaaakey.
  • LAUNCH ALL THE STOCK FOOTAGE
  • Oh no! All the toy helicopters are leaving!
  • OH. MY. GOD.
  • They REALLY pulled out all the stops for this. Just flat out insanity.
  • His door hums like it did in The Village.
  • That’s it, huh? No denying that.
  • Rover remains an unexplained enigma. Good.

At a Glance…

viewed orderepisode titlerating
1Arrival⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
2The Chimes of Big Ben⭐⭐⭐⭐
3A. B. and C.⭐⭐⭐
4Free for All⭐⭐⭐
5The Schizoid Man⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
6The General⭐⭐⭐⭐
7Many Happy Returns⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
8Dance of the Dead⭐⭐
9Checkmate⭐⭐⭐
10Hammer into Anvil⭐⭐⭐⭐
11It’s Your Funeral⭐⭐
12A Change of Mind⭐⭐⭐
13Do Not Forsake Me, Oh My Darling⭐⭐⭐⭐
14Living in Harmony⭐⭐
15The Girl Who Was Death⭐⭐
16Once Upon a Time⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
17Fall Out⭐⭐⭐

Typewritten Secrets of The Prisoner

2022-04-09 

Like many of us, I have a whole backlog of TV and movies that I’ll watch “some day”. Having grown tired of this, over the last year or so I’ve been making an effort to scratch some of these names off the list.

One of the oldest entries on that list is 1967’s “The Prisoner“.

Well, turns out Shout Factory posted the entire series — in HD, no less — over on YouTube, free with (easily blocked) ads.

I finally dipped my toe in with Episode 1, and well, the rest is history. The Prisoner is way, way, WAY ahead of it’s time. I thoroughly recommend it. It’s a real mind-fuck at times (especially in that first episode). It’s easy to see the influence it’s had on other shows (like LOST, for instance) in the decades that have followed it’s airing.

But this isn’t a series review — I’ve stopped at Episode 6, The General because I noticed something that would be fun to note and archive.

The episode (at least as far as I’ve gotten) concerns a visiting professor who’s seemingly developed a technique to teach students 3 years worth of education in 3 minutes. A test of the technique works quite well on the citizens of ‘The Village’ and our protagonist, Number 6. But not everything is as it seems, naturally.

Anyway, the professor is not a willing participant in this. In fact, he’s seen trying to escape from The Village at the opening of the episode, causing a mad chase to ensue, dragging him back in time for his ‘lecture’.

In the scene I paused on, the professor is urgently authoring some typewritten notes in his room. A couple Village scientists burst in, and drag him away. Meanwhile, another scientist, quite pleased with the current results, begins feeding the documents into a machine (the prop seems to be a Xerox 660 desktop copier with the name plate altered).

While I can’t vouch for the detail present in the original airing, this HD version of the series renders the text VERY visible, if upside-down.

So let’s see what he was writing!

                                    - 2 -

    a person washing up during the d??es and Sunday morning ?nd a cleaner
    working all day Saturday and Sunday morning.

Theatre Outings
---------- ----
    Secretary reported that 52 17/6d seats @ 12/6d each had been booked for
    the Cinerama production "Grand Prix" on Wednesday 5th April.  Coach has
    also been booked.


Football Section
-------- -------
    Alf Hunter[?] has asked for twelve pairs of football shorts.  As some of
    the present white shorts are missing he also asked if it would be
    possible for the new ones to be old gold because he did not know of any
    local team with that colour, then perhaps players would resist the
    temptation to 'borrow' H.G.K. shorts for other matches.  The cost of
    the shorts would be between 16/- and 18/- per pair and this was agreed.

Darts
-----
    Secretary asked, subject to Treasurer's Report, to purchase two
    dartboards.  This was agreed.

Treasurer's Report
-------------------
    Jack Howtree said our bank balance stood at £263, less outsanding bills
    to [?] of approximately £151, but receipts from "Hawaii" are still
    to come in.  Chairman asked for a full statement of balances and
    Jack Howtree agreed.

Bar Committee
-------------
    Frank War?sle has agreed to replace Peter Hancock on the Bar Committee
    while he is away on location.  George asked if a replacement could be
    found for Christine on the Bar Committee.  It was agreed Brian Dolan
    sit as new ?????r.  It was also agreed that the Bar Committee should
    meet[?] fortnightly, dates to be arranged by members concerned. [?]

    ...

(NOTE: I tried my best on this. Anywhere I was unsure, I tried to mark it with question marks.)

Obviously this has absolutely nothing to do with the show, and wasn’t intended to be read by the audience.

It’s unsurprising that this text is clearly sourced from the UK considering The Prisoner was an ITC production. There seems to be a pattern of the letter a, e, and s, especially, having the hammer not strike hard enough. Makes critical pieces of this tough to puzzle out.

I went through several frames of the episode. The paper actually appears twice, once at 20:38 and again in another, similar scene with the same props at 43:36. Pieces of it are clearer than others depending on the frame, but I used all of them, and some visual tweaking in Photoshop to draw out details.

There’s a little more at the bottom of the page but it never appears in focus on-screen.

Theatre Outings

This one helps ground the text in the mid-1960s. At least December 1966, since the Cinerama production “Grand Prix” was released on 1966-12-21. If I’m reading that correctly, it looks like they reserved 52 seats valued at 17 shillings, 6 pence, but gotten at a bulk discount? (I may be reading into it there.)

I did a bit of research (thanks, dv!) and all I could turn up was a showing at the Abbey Cinerama Theater in Liverpool. Turns out the ‘Liverpool Echo’ newspaper (PDF) was dated April 5th, 1967 – the exact date in question.

Football Section

  • Alf Hunter? Seems right.
  • H.G.K.? N.G.K.? H.G.H.? None of them produce anything obviously related… I tried rugby football, soccer, various sports clubs, etc. I’ve come so close, but never quite close enough.

Darts

  • Congrats on the dartboards.

Treasurer’s Report

  • Jack Pawtree? Jack Rawtree? Jack Rowtree? Jack Howtree? Jack Hawtree? You’d think having TWO examples of it on the page would be a bit of natural error correction. I dug around some directories and census data and couldn’t find anything that made any of those favored over the other.

Bar Committee (probably)

  • Frank Warsale? Frank Warcole? Frank Wargale?
  • Peter Hancock
  • “George”
  • “Christine”
  • Brian Dolan

Afterward

I really busted my ass trying to connect these dots. Shockingly, I got the most traction on the Cinerama section. The rest… lots of little clues, but nothing substantial. I could spend a lot more time on this and maybe start opening my wallet to some better tools, but this is about as much as I can squeeze out of this little OSINT side quest on a Saturday.

If you know anything, found something, or just have an observation I might have missed, hit me up on Twitter.

I have a big problem.

2022-03-31 

A Twitter bot problem, to be precise.

Not too long ago, I launched a trio of bots on Twitter. Two of them were those kinds of bots that post a random screenshot from a TV show or movie at some interval (usually every hour).

The first two honored two of my favorite things: The Critic, represented by @TheShermometer. And the world of Max Headroom represented by @20MinutesBot.

At the same time, I released the shoddy source code for the bots under the amazingly clever name of GenericTwitterImagePoster. (I could give it a proper name, I guess, but does it really matter?)

Anyway, earlier this week I launched two more!

  • @FifthColumnV, celebrating both 1983’s V: The Original Miniseries, and it’s second half, 1984’s V: The Final Battle. An absolutely fantastic sci-fi series about resistance fighters versus Nazi space lizard invaders that absolutely holds up today. It was really ahead of it’s time. I’m a little obsessed with it. 😉
  • And the other, the @JetsonsBot: a bot reposting scenes from the original 1960s and 1980s run of TV’s The Jetsons.

Both bots post every hour. You’re either into this kind of thing, or you’re not, so if it doesn’t sound like fun to you, take a hike, bub!

UPDATE: With the death of Twitter (as we knew it), so too have these bots passed on. RIP.

Another year, another framework.

2022-03-28 

Maybe I’ll flesh this out a bit later, but I’ve just ditched Bludit for a complete rewrite in 11ty.

TOTAL CONTROL. Wicked speed. This is insane. And you know I’m enjoying myself, since I’ve been here since yesterday around noon learning how it works, andporting this fucker from scratch.

This is pretty much rock-bottom — you don’t get much more raw speed than static pages. But with a build-process that’s super easy to get what you want. 🤨

Hopefully this will encourage me to post some more…

Review – Suicide Squad (2016)

2021-12-24 

Finally got around to it!

I was initially interested in it back when it came out, but all the stories and horrible things I’d heard… and THAT JOKER… I noped out pretty fast.

Fast forward to 2021 — figured I’d give it a go, since I seriously enjoyed Margot Robbie’s version of Harley in Birds of Prey. That, and it’s pretty much the last DCEU film I’d yet to see.

And I… liked it?

Now, hold up, I mean, it’s by NO MEANS perfect. But I actually had a better time here than, say, with the sequel to Wonder Woman ’84. Which, honestly, I never thought I’d ever say considering how near godly the original WW was.

This was fun. It was pretty much what I expected after years of exposure, but there were actually several twists in this I didn’t know about despite everything I’d heard.

Smith’s Deadshot is fun, but only because it’s Will Smith playing Will Smith with shooting skills delivering dialogue like a tired Will Smith. And if that still works for you, here you go. (It did for me, despite this.)

Harley is fun, but a lot more unhinged. In the bad way. I thought for sure Joker was going to betray her at some point, and we’d get the start of her disconnect from him and her liberation.

But no, we’re in full Stockholm Syndrome mode for the entire film.

That said, this was a great stepping stone to her further refinement in Birds of Prey, where she stole the film for me.

The rest had their moments — especially Diablo. (And hey, it’s the positively delightful Karen Fukuhara (The Boys) as Katana! Woo!)

Hell, I didn’t even hate Joker…?! No, I’m serious — and I can’t believe I’m saying it.

I still absolutely LOATHE his version of the character. But…. I can’t really deny that this gangsta thug incarnation… he slots in quite well into this particular, gritty universe.

I mean, I can dislike him and still accept that he’s a good match, right?

Enchantress was interesting, but as the ultimate goal of the film it was kind of lacking. The ending reminded me a whole lot of Ghostbusters, actually. With more sword fighting. Less marshmallows.

Far better than expected, but it was a almost the lowest possible bar going in, so… the deed is done. Glad I gave it a go. It’s not the complete dumpster fire folks said, but still on the lower end of the DCEU’s already low-skewed rankings.

⭐⭐⭐

https://letterboxd.com/drfortyseven/film/suicide-squad-2016/

Goodbye, .xyz… hello Twitter bots!

2021-11-29 

It’s mostly done.

Almost all references to “Network47.xyz” have been replaced with “Network47.org”. Most things should forward appropriately, including email. I’ll have the domain for years to come, so it’ll never truly be gone…

As much as my beloved “.xyz” domain made me happy (I do love me some X’s and Z’s), it has an unfortunate stigma of being from the wrong side of the digital tracks. Prone to `*.xyz` being blacklisted, and so forth.

It was never a HUGE deal, but I might as well rip the bandage off sooner than later.

Meanwhile, I’ve also taken the time to make some revisions to site layout. Kind of surprised at how slow Bludit releases are, and the current 4.x that’s just going into beta didn’t seem to have features I’m interested in.

Maybe I’ll just fork it for personal use? 🤔

Also meanwhile, over the Thanksgiving week, I launched my first two Twitter bots: @20MinutesBot and @TheShermometer.

The former for the 1980s ABC TV series, Max Headroom, and the latter for The Critic. Both of which are instances of a Python script pumped out on Tuesday that uses the Twitter API to posts random images from a folder of images and metadata every 30 minutes.

It’s simple, but boy is it fun.

Like me!

Eeh, I’m not really that fun.

Gonna Skip Windows 11

2021-11-01 

Not going to lie: Windows 11 is giving off some major Windows Vista vibes. But I’ve been working hard on not being one of these “it’s different, so I hate it” guys. So I loaded up a copy of it in a VM and gave it a go.

I’ll skip the details, but: holy shit. What a mess. Lots of little issues. The Start menu has been bombed back to the stone age. There’s no organization. It’s simplistic. Too simplistic.

Frankly, I’m not sure where Windows is headed, but as an OS it feels like all they do is constantly layer new things on top of legacy things and never get around to cleaning up the old stuff. And when they do update something, it’s often missing functionality. (We see this behavior in stuff from Google, as well.)

I’ve described the whole sudden push to 11 as feeling like some higher-up guy at Microsoft got fired or quit, and his replacement is trying to make a name for himself, rushing a new product out the door that he can call his own.

I’m sure I could use Windows 11 and adapt to it… but I’m kind of tired of playing this game.

So I’ll keep my Windows partition on Windows 10. It’s good for a couple more years. Maybe Win11 will get it’s act together by then. Maybe in 2025 I’ll be able to organize my apps again instead of just lumping them into a list and being able to ‘favorite’ a couple things.

Meanwhile, I’ve decided to explore Linux again. A large part of what kept me away from full-timing Linux is that I’m a gamer. It’s a large part of my world. And, well, if you play games: you run Windows.

But the Steam Deck kind of changed everything. I’d learned about all the amazing work Valve did with Proton, and a plan started to formulate.

So I grabbed a fresh 1TB SSD and took the plunge on Friday night.

Ubuntu 20.04 LTS.

…it’s Monday now. And other than some rough edges here and there, I’m missing… nothing? Or damned well close to it.

I installed Steam and enabled the Proton stuff. So far both Quake and Borderlands: Pre-Sequel all ran fluidly.

Quake is not the most convincing thing, I admit, considering there are native ports easily within reach, but the new update on Steam is only officially for Windows (maybe Mac?). But it ran without complaint.

I’ll try some more later, but if the Steam Deck compatibility rate is to be believed, very little will NOT run.

Crazy.

Even just plain Wine is doing great — Photoshop is working mostly without a hitch. There’s a couple trivial UI things but it otherwise started up out of the box without any tweaks. Literally wine Photoshop.exe on my mounted Windows drive.

That leaves almost nothing to be desired. Though I did have to reboot to play Far Cry 6, but even that’s just because it was running through the Ubisoft launcher — maybe there’s a way around it. And at this point, I believe it.

My prior attempts at running Linux as a daily driver have been met with frustration and sacrifice, but in 2021? I’m not feeling that anymore. I feel like the Linux desktop has finally arrived. For me, at least.

2023 Update: Best move I ever made. Long live Linux. Fuck Windows.

Zyxx Transmissions Decoded

2021-10-02 

A friend introduced me to Mission to Zyxx — an absolutely hysterical improvised sci-fi comedy podcast. It’s in it’s fifth season, currently, as we close in on the end of 2021. I’ve JUST hit the second season finale as I play catch up.

One of the many (many!) charms of Zyxx is how it weaves the show’s sponsors into the actual story, however lightly. I tend to find pretty much any advertising incredibly abrasive, even at the best of times. But hawking junk in-universe as various character’s “side hustles”… well, it had me in awe of just how brilliant that was.

One of the advertisers is a sponsor not uncommon to internet media: Squarespace. And to promote them, the folks behind the show created a website — therebellion.space — filled with various bits of propaganda related to The Rebellion — currently the good guys (…?) in a Star Wars “Rebel vs. The Empire”-style dichotomy. (The idea being to show how easy it was to setup a site through them, of course.)

On that site are a number of “intercepted transmissions“… I searched around a bit and was very surprised to see nobody really digging into them. That seems unlikely to me, but here we are.

So let’s go through all five of them (as of this writing) and see what we’ve got…

** BIG SPOILERS AHEAD! **

The First Message

A misdirect right out of the gate — below an inline audio clip lies a series of binary digits barely visible, but you can highlight them with your cursor… (“01010100 01101000…”, etc)

Tools to convert binary into ASCII are a dime a dozen, of course, and inside the ones and zeroes lies the message…

This isn't the encrypted message. Of course we know how to translate binary; we have more droids here than we know what to do with. Honestly, if you're looking for a good B-Class recon unit, we'll give a price well below gray book.

…well, fair enough.

The REAL message, STA#_34R5-Transmission-Log-CYCLE11040499080899-4420-Ra, is an audio clip containing a curious series of blips and bleeps.

You’d be forgiven for thinking you can JUST make out something. But that’s your brain jucking with you. Loading the audio up in Audacity and checking out the spectrogram view reveals…

…a secret message! The full text reads…

*  * RACHEL: WATCH YOUR CARAPACE, THERE IS A TRAITOR AMONGST US! I FEEL IT IN MY CLAWS. THEIR POWER IS GROWING. TRUST NO ONE. - CHANDLER *  *

The Second Message

This one might be my favorite — it contains two different audio files.

Each one, by themselves, sounds like something screamed over a PA speaker in a robot’s version of Hell…

BUT! If you play them both at the same time…

…a voice!

“Your Excellency, it is I, Lieutenant Bordoff. I bow, humbly, before Your Wackness with what I hope is most pleasing news. Zwog Tambouie reports that your order is ready: yes, the device is complete! And he assures us that no one else among The Council has an inkling of it’s existence. Your servant, signing off. […mumbling…]

The Third Message

This time around, they’ve intercepted an image transmission. Initially, it looks like a bunch of noise…

However, if you bisect the image in half at the red line (A) and place that half OVER the top half (B) with — I think it was a ‘difference’ filter — you end up with a inverted image (C):

On it’s “Print is the Future“-brand bonded stationary, it reads:

Beware! Red plus white equals destruction!

Ominous.

The Fourth Message

The next transmission looks simply like a star field. Maybe some poor jucker’s vacation photo from Hendron IV and they lost their camera?

Not quite. ZOOM, ENHANCE:

There are several ways to draw out these hidden pixels, but just cranking the gamma is is enough. The hidden text reads:

Your Excellency: There are many in the rebellion who eagerly await your rise to power. I shall gladly come to your aid if ever the need arises. Yours, Grand Plutt Sunblighter.

The Fifth Message

The final message (as of October 2021 at least) has multiple steps.

First, an 8×22 monochrome image — too small for Rebellion codebreakers to crack! But no match for our tools — ZOOM BUT DON’T ENHANCE:

It’s worth noting that these black and white pixels are 8 across — a big clue that this is binary. (Hey wait a minute, weren’t they just boasting about their binary cracking skills? 😏)

When we break it down into 22 binary groups:

01101000
01110100
01110100
01110000
01110011
00111010
00101111
00101111
01100010
01101001
01110100
00101110
01101100
01111001
00101111
00110010
01111000
01101110
00110011
01100001
01010111
01100101

…and then feed that into your favorite tool we get a bit.ly-shortened URL leading to a Dropbox account sharing an MP3 audio file…

The clip contains a voice that’s clearly speaking in reverse, so let’s load it into Audacity and spin that sucker around, and…

OH… OH CRAP:

Hey Bordoff!

Got the business cards and I got to say: I am pretty excited to see “Emperor” on them. Me! Little ol’ me! Wow-ee! I can’t wait to start handing ’em out.

Uh, oh, circling back onto kind of our master plan… I cannot wait to kill the rest of the Council of Seven and impose my will upon the entire galactic entity.

Anywho…i just want to say I’m so glad about your participation in this. I will not kill you unless you prove unuseful to me. And then, well, by golly, I probably will.

Oop! Okay, Linda is callin’. I have to get to dinner.

But uh, hey: great chattin’ with ya, and uh, yeah, let’s just touch base later. See how it all turns out.

Alrighty, bye bye.

As I sit here at the end of Season 2, not all of this clicks yet. So it doesn’t feel like too huge a spoiler.

Besides, as they say, it’s just a show. You should really just relax. 😉

Provide Your Own “Jeopardy!” Answers

2021-09-18 

An exceedingly simple recreation of the answer cards seen on Jeopardy!. But it’s worth noting that the modern answer cards aren’t actually a simple blue background, but a surprisingly nuanced barely perceptible gradient. Without it, something looks ‘off’, so hopefully I’ve added just enough here to satisfy. 😉

This isn’t the original font, either, but a recreation… supposedly…

Look, it goes down a weird hole and this is just a fun CSS exercise. 😉

Anyway, the ‘editable’ part of this is a cheat, using contenteditable attribute on the containing div tag.