Realtime Observations - Picard 2x09 - Hide and Seek

Well, 80% of that was just playing hide and seek (as advertised) against Borg with a really bad “day-for-night” filter and green laser pointers, but that other 20% was as good as the first two episodes. A decent fan theory panned out, surprisingly.

I’m also itching to do a recut of this series down to a 2-hour movie. So much of this is just giving them something to do to kill time. I don’t mean this episode, but the whole series.

It wants to be like The Voyage Home so badly, but most everyone in Kirk’s crew had something to do that was critical to the plot.

  • Kirk and Spock obviously had to track down the whales.

  • Uhura and Chekov had to collect particles from the ‘nuclear wessel’ to time travel back home.

  • Sulu, McCoy and Scotty had to acquire a chopper and convince the guy – hold up, that wasn’t Stuart Pankin? – to build the transparent aluminum walls for the whale tank.

Everyone had a role. And that role had direct consequences for the success of their mission.

All Seven, Raffi, and (sadly) Rios did was get into some shit and have to do rescues and action scenes to… well, what DID they do? Other than give Warrior Queen Jurati her inspiration to be nice. (And force a reason to both remove and insert Elnor into the story.)

This is all super weak, but the fate of Picard’s mother was actually shockingly decent. Though, fuck me if it actually somehow plays into the finale with Q and Renee. (Remember Q…?)

And I do very much enjoy this new interpretation of the new Borg. It’s kind of the next logical step past Hugh. The Queen might be a bitch, but it’s nice to deflate the cartoonishly evil vision of her into something more nuanced.

Imagine if the whole episode – or series – had been full of interesting things like that.

Still, one more episode to pull a miracle out. I’m not optimistic, but I’m a little less skeptical than I was before I pressed play on this week’s ep.

Let’s see where it goes, I guess. :P


Realtime Observations:

  • From the “previously on” recap, the proverbial “forks in the road” according to Queen Agnes last week, (I’d missed these):

    • One leads to [Adam Soong] bringing humanity back from the edge of extinction (or he dies alone…?)

    • Renee Picard either boards a spaceship and makes a discovery that renders [Adam’s] work obsolete (or doesn’t).

  • Considering it’s been silly, yet canonical that assimilated Borg tech turns “green”, I have no leg to stand on when I say the green beaming effect is, well, rather silly.

  • Agnes in the buff! Woo!! 😜

  • Aaaaaand that pretty much seals the “2x01 Borg Queen is Agnes” theory. :P But how is this forthcoming battle in any way compelling if… well, let’s watch and find out, I guess. 🙄

  • Ah, the Queen hacked herself up a decent deal on some green laser pointers from Amazon.

  • So many laser. Such stealth.

  • Ah, the ol’ fractal encryption trick.

  • HAHHAHAHAA are you fucking kidding me? HOLO-ELNOR. 😆

  • We’re just never going to see beam weapons again, are we? :(

  • NX-01 REFIT!!!

  • In true movie/TV tradition the cybernetically super-enhanced drones can barely hit anything, even with laser pointers.

  • No, wait, Rios got nicked because the plot needed (?) him elsewhere. Surely complete chance, considering he had several green dots on him before that. :P

  • Yeah, could you imagine the damage SHE would inflict. Yeah. HER. 🙄

  • Rios knows how to operate Tallinn’s crazy tech. Sure, why not?

  • All the laser sights turn off. Everyone relaxes (before Adam speaks at least). I mean, that keen Borg collective mind could have just DONE THAT to lure them out and then just riddle them with shots, but nah.

  • I’ve seen 1950s sci-fi flicks with better “day for night” coloring. This looks so bad. :P

  • Why the hell are they acting like they’re defeated just because Adam showed up? He’s even aware you could unload and kill him, but threatens you with worse if you try…? Is this a fire fight for the future or not?

  • I have a feeling Adam is secretly terrified and will turn on the Borg. The “unknown variable” thing is probably a hint. But probably not.

  • Nope. Definitely not. At least not until next week when his ‘daughter’ is threatened, wherever she is. Probably next ep.

  • These Borg flashing high-power green lasers around while “seeking” Picard and friends is bordering on extreme ineptitude. I know it’s one of those style-over-substance artistic choices that looks great on screen… but it’s kind of difficult to suspend disbelief here.

  • HOHO! One DID turn his crap off. Though he just Kool-Aided through the door, instead of, say, blowing Seven’s brains out. So it’s not a complete upgrade in tactics.

  • The couple that impales together…

  • Perfect bead on Jean Luc’s big crusty, eggy melon with a super bright green laser and they still can’t cap him.

  • Adam just yelling “PiCaAarrrRd!!” into the night is hilarious for some reason.

  • If desaturated blue is your favorite color, boy do I have an episode for YOU.

  • CANON ALERT: Janeway went to bat for Seven joining Starfleet, threatened to resign.

  • “We’re not getting out of this.” – I love Seven’s pragmatic view on life.


  • WRITERS: You’re treating the Holo!Elf like he’s actually Elnor. I know you thought that was clever, but you’re making some major, awful implications about security for anyone who steps foot on the fucking ship.

  • Rios not only knows how to operate Tallinn’s equipment but has the skills to try and hack “the subroutines”. Sure, dude.

  • Oh, so tricorders contain an entire emergency room full of tools now, eh? That’s… actually not a terrible idea, if it had a holographic emitter. That would be a reasonable progression of the technology,honestly. But I doubt it went that deep in the writing process. It certainly wasn’t shown on-screen that way.

  • Man, Adam is REALLY smug. 😆

  • Oh no, is this going where I think it is? 😨

  • Don’t cocktease the reveal, man, this is twice you’ve done that now.

  • Apparently Holo!Elf has a portable emitter… but that tech came from the future, thanks to Voyager… so did Voyager still happen under the Confederacy…? Was that the EMHs emitter, or did they reverse engineer the technology? Questions.

  • “I’ve missed you, Raffi.” – No you haven’t, you were literally birthed from nothing an hour ago from a copy of the last time you were alive. I mean, I’m just extrapolating from what the show told us.

  • “I share the recollection of Elnor’s final breath” – big, big, big fucking security implications. Literally nobody from the military would be able to step onto that ship. Like an Admiral, for instance. Or a Borg Queen. Or all those fresh drones.

  • You know, for a couple of people hiding in the basement from Borg drones you’d think they’d be a bit quieter.

  • Yeah Holo!Elnor, you hold off those heavily armed mercenary Borg grunts with your sword and silly pose. Well, the computer is simulating his lameness pretty well, at least.

  • It’s a non-green beaming effect, so you know it’s not the Borg. Thanks Picard, I couldn’t have known otherwise. I’d been like “Oh wow, the Borg are beaming themselves off the ship?!”, but you had my back.

  • You fucking beamed them into the walls of the tunnels under the building!!! Did they even know about them? Or that Picard was down there?

  • I can’t lie. Warrior Queen Jurati is straight-up SMOKIN’. 😍

  • But she’s also ridiculous – let’s fight a hologram and totally ignore hitting it’s emitter. I know the decryption key is “in it’s head” but pounding on the hologram is surely only going to wear YOU down.

  • Oh, NOW she can Dr. Octopus it off him. 🙄

  • Holy shit, she ripped Seven’s guts out.

  • Oh hey, they took the day-for-night filter off. FINALLY.

  • “You can’t be sad forever.” – hahhaha, challenge accepted. 😩

  • I can’t say the road they’re taking with the Borg (of this timeline at least) isn’t interesting. This was one of the fan theories. Borg + Jurati = 2x01 Federation-joining Borg. Face hidden because it’s literally Jurati’s face and normal Jurati is there, too. Fair enough. I like that idea, tough. The desire to grow and advance fed through cooperation instead of raw domination. Taking a tougher but more sustainable path for the long term. Like an overly aggressive virus having to become less lethal to survive. That’s clever. 👍

  • I also enjoy the idea of the Borg constantly needing to ‘fix’ the timeline because someone always ‘comes after them’ and defeats them. I’m not sure if they said that exactly in the ep, but it tracks.

  • “Let’s build a universe of Sevens!” – Yes. Please. Or Jurati’s. Or both. Plz?

  • “What if your future was here, and it was always supposed to be.” – yeeeeeah, he’s staying.

  • Rios beams EXACTLY where and when he needed to be to shoot the baddie. 🙄 Better yet, the other guy starts pounding on him and Jean Luc and Tallinn just stand there with their dicks in their hands.

  • Explosive DNA gun. Convenient.


  • Dude, Picard’s mother’s fate is seriously fucking DARK. I commend the show for committing to that. 😑

  • Ahh, they addressed the “old lady” vision of his mother from TNG! That’s pretty good, really. Well, as far as unnecessary revisionism goes. Glad they at least remembered it.

  • “The future will have no need for a Borgslayer.” – that’s kind of a great line.

  • Welp, looks like you’re stuck here, Rios. How unfortunate. Or is it FUN-fortunate?

  • Oh, you’re just going to gloss over the advice of a superior being that can see the timeline, eh, JL?